The Commission

So who are you?

Happy Easter!  We made it through lent and here we are.  It's been a couple of weeks since I posted, but here is the next edition to the series of "How did we get here?!?"

In the Arkansas diocese, one of the last things that happen before postulancy is granted is a meeting with the Commission on Ministry.  This commission is comprised of both lay and clergy and they are tasked with interviewing potential candidates for Holy Orders. For me, most of them I knew of but did not know personally so it was slightly unnerving. What would they ask? How would I respond? I spent weeks going over in my head things I thought they might want to know or they might ask.  However, if I have learned anything during this process is that you should always expect the unexpected.  You never know where the Holy Spirit is going to lead.

I had a fantastic group with me that day that included my husband, my current priest and the priest that I had worked with for the past two years.  Even though I was surrounded by my group, I was still nervous.

Who are you?  That's what they wanted to know.  We talked about my call, my marriage and my experience at St. Mark's.  It was a really straight forward conversation, no trick questions.  Everyone there was there because they cared about me and the Church.  It didn't feel antagonistic or like an interrogation.

My advice is this:
1. You probably will feel nervous.  Embrace it.
2. Don't be afraid of saying I don't know or I hadn't thought about that.  I did a couple of times and followed up with a quick "this is my knee jerk reaction" response.
3. Be open and honest.

Next week seminary preparation!


Shameless Fundraiser Plug:
Would you mind looking at our video and consider giving?  Or possibly share our campaign on Facebook?

https://www.gofundme.com/agre8y-seminary&rcid=r01-155622431019-a3137f400cef4db9&pc=ot_co_campmgmt_w 

Silence

Silence

It is often said that God speaks in silence.  Not a crashing voice, neon sign or by any other conventional means, but absence. I've often been asked, "How did you make it through such a long process?".  The answer: silence.

The discernment process, whether it was designed to do this or not, will instill patience.  It will instill the ability to live in the grey and become friends with it.

I alluded to in the previous post how at the end of my committee's final decision, I took a year off to figure out our relationship.  This was the longest year of my life.  Figuring out who I was, who I was in regards to our relationship and how this all tied into the discernment process.  Matthew and I eventually worked through our relationship issues and came out for the better.

The point of me sharing this is: discernment, like life, is usually messy.  Very few will experience a clean discernment process where something traumatic does not happen.  I often times felt alone and uncomfortable with dealing with the silence, the in between, the uncertainty.  Eventually, you become accustomed to it and you give way.  I didn't fully realize the way this silent period of my discernment process would affect me until my priest gave me insight.  What I didn't realize was that through Matthew and I reconciling our issues and building back our relationship, we were living exactly what I was called preach and live; forgiveness, grace, and reconciliation.

If you find yourself "stuck" look around, what seems like silence might actually be God moving you closer to your call.




Shameless plug for seminary fundraising:
Please check out our video and consider giving or sharing!

GoFundMe Link:
https://www.gofundme.com/agre8y-seminary&rcid=r01-155449663577-8df336d9237c456e&pc=ot_co_campmgmt_w