It is often said that God speaks in silence. Not a crashing voice, neon sign or by any other conventional means, but absence. I've often been asked, "How did you make it through such a long process?". The answer: silence.
The discernment process, whether it was designed to do this or not, will instill patience. It will instill the ability to live in the grey and become friends with it.
I alluded to in the previous post how at the end of my committee's final decision, I took a year off to figure out our relationship. This was the longest year of my life. Figuring out who I was, who I was in regards to our relationship and how this all tied into the discernment process. Matthew and I eventually worked through our relationship issues and came out for the better.
The point of me sharing this is: discernment, like life, is usually messy. Very few will experience a clean discernment process where something traumatic does not happen. I often times felt alone and uncomfortable with dealing with the silence, the in between, the uncertainty. Eventually, you become accustomed to it and you give way. I didn't fully realize the way this silent period of my discernment process would affect me until my priest gave me insight. What I didn't realize was that through Matthew and I reconciling our issues and building back our relationship, we were living exactly what I was called preach and live; forgiveness, grace, and reconciliation.
If you find yourself "stuck" look around, what seems like silence might actually be God moving you closer to your call.
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