A hard lesson

Packing has commenced. House is being listed. Fundraising is in full swing. Yardsales are being planned. Everything is busy and I think this is why saying goodbye snuck up on me, on us, and has been the hardest part yet. About every other day Matthew and I have a story that involves the next and leaving something behind.

This is the part no one prepares you for.

It seems like yesterday we got our marching orders, find a seminary and visit. We did just that and in just a couple of months, we start our trek to Texas. Matthew and I both now have people in place to take over our jobs that we are leaving and they've been trained. We've started to let go of some of our responsibilities around St. Mark's, slowly moving out of ministries that we have been integral in for so long. In some ways a slow letting go, I think, is more traumatic and jarring than an abrupt end. Yes, it allows you to say a proper goodbye and transition things that need that kind of care, but it allows you to linger, to realize what is happening.

At first, I thought, this is rough and uneasy, almost hurtful but then I realized that leaning into this moment of letting go is beautiful. It hurts and it's scary but in letting go, you get to fall into something else. Our jobs will be fine, St. Mark's, too. Our friends and family will continue to live their lives. No one tells you that learning to let go of things is necessary, but it is.

Technology is fantastic for it allows us to set up a countdown clock to our move. Currently, it has us at two months and twenty-three days. Almost three months left to let things go.

Winnie-the-Pooh said it best when he quipped, “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” Us, too, Winne. Us, too.

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